many regrets
again, a regret. this feels almost like going to confession.
Towards the end of Monday, we returned to the shelter. I had been on a mini damage tour and spent a few hours trying to to get pictures back to the paper. Cell service was almost non-existent so it took about 2 hours to send 4 pictures. I about put a fork through my eyeball.
We had only a short time to talk to folks before we needed to file again for deadline. The water was rising on the only road that could get us back to our hotel. It was closed to most people but we had a big truck so we could probably get by - but not if we waited long - the rivers were cresting. If we didn’t go, we would have to sleep in the Red Cross Shelter. The idea crossed my mind that we should just stay and tell the story of a night in the shelter.
We were exhausted. The hotel, even without power, sounded nice. Tempting…tempting…tempting. Well, we went for it, made it across the road and got back to the hotel. We filed some more stories and pictures, and passed out.
I really regret that decision now. I know it is easy to say – sitting at home and caught up on sleep. But, this story is a sign of my own weakness. Essentially, i am out of journalistic and photographic shape. I should have stayed and told the story of the people who were the most damaged by the storm. A few years ago i would have done it. I hope in the future i will make a better decision.
Comments
Comment from matt miller
Date: December 10, 2007, 9:31 pm
rob, more than anything else i read, your posts resonate with my own thoughts. maybe it is because we are roughly the same age… but i have thought quite a bit recently about compromises i make. i have felt like you do. sometimes those decisions are easily justified, sometimes they are tinted with disappointment.
i am pretty sure i am not always one how can “rough it” with the folks at the shelter and still be sharp enough to do my job well. on the other hand, it is really a grey area to figure out when to camp and when to crash in a hotel.
and then long-term… will “roughing it” keep me from burning out, or will it drive me to a point of exhaustion?
well, regardless what the answers are, thank you for sharing.
Comment from Mike Morones
Date: December 12, 2007, 4:05 am
Hey Rob,
I hear where you are coming from as far as regrets go. We all feel like we could have done better at one point or another. Like both you and Matt, I too am going through this sort of introspective phase in my career. The best we can do is try harder or at least go with our guts the next time around. I suppose that is the benefit to working for newspapers, for good or ill, is that another issue is bound to come out tomorrow! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and pictures.
Comment from Sean Cayton
Date: December 14, 2007, 11:20 am
I wanted to chime in. But I didn’t want to be the only one. So now after this has gone the way of most storms, I would like to suggest that a deadline is not a good thing when it comes to sticking around and even though you have the right intuition, the deadline to file is an issue. It’s especially so for everyone working in the business of newspapers. What, for example, would you have done if you knew that you were solely there to experience, rather than report? My own insight to this question is this: When photography is meant to facilitate experience, there is more footing to stand on. But when you have to worry about filing for a deadline? Well in the newspaper business its ‘C’est la vie.’ My own sense is that you, Rob, are torn between two paths…
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